Erin and Billy's Parenting Plans
Liam's Placenta:
Lotus birth is the practice of leaving the umbilical cord and placenta attached to baby until they dry out and separate from the navel on their own. Most primates carry their infants with the placenta still attached until it separates on its own. The separation usually occurs within 3 to 7 days.
The most important reason for any delayed separation of the placenta and umbilical cord from the baby is for the baby to receive all the nutrient & iron rich, oxygenated blood contained in her placenta. The current practice of clamping and or cutting the umbilical cord prior to the delivery of the placenta and before the cord has stopped pulsing deprives the baby of 54-160ml of blood, half the baby's total blood volume. It has been proposed that this loss of blood is the reason for the rise in anemia, respiratory distress and weight loss in early infancy. The baby's body most now work hard to rebuild its blood supply instead of focusing on the new task of breathing and the energy that goes to rebuilding the blood supply causes the baby to loose weight.
There is also an emotional and spiritual reason for not separating the baby from her placenta. Psychologist's studying prenatal and perinatal psychology and working with adults and children have discovered strong evidence that individuals who were separated from their placenta at birth suffered mental and physical pain from the experience.
- Studies have shown that newborn infants who were verbally told that their cord was going to be cut displayed signs of distress immediately after the verbal communication, either by crying, squirming, gasping, shuddering, whimpering, wringing of their hands, reaching for and grasping the cord or pushing at the hand holding the scissors.
- Studies have also shown that delayed cord cutting is directly correlated to healing of the umbilical wound, if the cord was cut immediately the wound took 9 days to heal if the cord cutting was delayed beyond the cord having stopped pulsing the wound healed in 3 days.
Supporters of Lotus Birth recognize the relationship the baby has had with the placenta in the mothers womb for 9 months. The placenta has been a source of life, nourishment, security, and warmth for the baby. The placenta can be viewed as, the baby's twin for it contains the same genetic material as the baby, or as the baby's second mother. Waiting to cut the cord and communicating with the baby about what is to be done or leaving the cord attached for the baby to decide when she feels she can emotionally and physically detach from it, respects the baby as a conscious thinking, feeling being.
Psychologists working with young children and adults have discovered that we can recall in utero and early life experiences and especially the experience and pain of having our umbilical cords cut. Many individuals who have recalled their forced umbilical separation exhibit feelings of: powerlessness, separation, loneliness, abandonment, loss of security, not getting enough, loss of control, lack of confidence in ones ability to support oneself, lack of connection with others, inability to relate to others, and an inability to finish what is started. It is proposed that these feelings and struggles later in life developed based on what was learned in the persons early experiences.
Billy and I take to heart the advice of pre & perinatal psychologists when they recommend being aware of and respecting children as conscious thinking and feeling beings even in utero. It has been suggested by professionals that if pregnancy, "birth and early childhood were made less traumatic events than much of modern psychology would be obsolete and society might have a collective of healthier, happier individuals."
Children can be affected by even the earliest experience. For example children who lost a twin sibling in utero have been know to exhibit behaviors such as: anxiety, inability to settle, constantly searching for something without satisfaction, something that is never found. When these children's experience is recognized by an adult parent or even the psychologist (even if the child does not speak yet) the child's "searching" behavior ceases. These children were looking for their missing sibling, when their experience of loss was verbalized and recognized they integrated the reality and moved on.
Similar occurrences happen with babies who experienced a drug augmented labor where contractions were so strong from the inducing drugs that their little heads were rambled against their mothers pelvic outlet at an unnatural rate (sometimes causing visible bruising). These children would bang their heads against walls or toys quite frequently. Again, once their experience was verbalized and recognized to them by an adult the child accepted the apology so to speak, ceased the behavior and moved on with life.
If only we all had such conscious adults around us at an early age who could recognize our experiences were traumatic and comfort us by acknowledging that so we could move past those experiences and persevere in life. In fact it is quite easy for us as parents to do this. Children you throw tantrums or cry over not getting what they want are usually easily quited when an adult can verbalized their experience for them.
For example: "Joseph I know you are very sad because mommy wants you to take off your Halloween costume before you go to play outside in the rain. Do you think that the rain and mud might ruin your costume before you can wear it for Halloween tomorrow? Mommy knows that you love to wear your costume and don't want it to get ruined, so we will put it safely in the closet for you to wear when it is not raining outside or when you come back inside to play. What do you think?"
For more information on pre and perinatal psychology please see:
What Babies Want with Noah Wylie
or Erin & Billy will let Liam choose if he wants a Placenta Releasing Ceremony a few hours after birth so that the placenta may be prepared for medicinal use by Erin.
Most mammals eat their young's placentas for nourishment.
In China the placenta is considered to valuable to waste and is used as medicine in a powder form, today it is used worldwide in the healing of burn patients (along with infants foreskin) and in cosmetic preparations.
The unused portion of the placenta will be buried to nourish the earth.
Cloth Diapering
Environmental Reasons to Cloth Diaper
18 billion disposable diapers are placed in landfills a year, the 3rd largest source of waste. If you had to keep all your baby's dirty diapers in your house you would fill up the house before your baby was potty trained.
It takes 500 years for disposable diapers to decompose.
82,000 tons of plastic and 250,000 trees would be used to put disposables diapers on all existing children.
The waste water from manufacture disposable diapers contains toxic dioxins, solvents, sludge and heavy metals.
Using disposables uses 20 times the raw materials, 3 times more energy, two times more water and sixty times more waste than cloth diapering.
Fecal mater in cloth diapers if laundered at home is disposed of in the toilet, if you read the label on disposables you should do the same. Most people throw away fecal mater within disposables greatly endangering the community's water supply near the landfill where they end up, since viruses are present in human waste.
Health & Comfort Advantages of Cloth Diapering for Baby
Cloth diapers are free from sodium polyacrylate the substance that allows disposables to soak up 100 times its weight in liquid. Sodium Polyacrylate has not been tested for safety for use near infants delicate skin.
Most cloth diapers are free from dioxin the toxic chemical by-product of bleaching the materials used in disposables.
Cloth diapers do not trigger asthma in infants and care givers as has been found to be true of disposables.
Cloth diapers have not been linked to male infertility as disposables have, since cloth diapers allow the skin to breath thus keeping testicles and scrotum cool.
Cloth diapers allow baby's skin to breathe. Cloth diapered babies are changed more frequently because they do not hold as much liquid, reducing the risk of bacterial growth and ammonia exposure from the bacterial breakdown of urine.
Cloth diapered child tend to potty train earlier because they feel the dampness of their urination whereas disposables sodium polyacrylate allows them to feel dry.
Other Advantage of Cloth Diapering
Cloth diapers cost at max 5 cents per use when laundering yourself, whereas disposables cost 32 cents per use. Since babies tend to go through 8,000 thats over $2,000 that would be spent on disposables and only $400 on cloth diapers.
We have decided to attachment parent based on countless accounts & recommendations from experienced parents and professionals. This style of parenting feels right to us and we can see how it might have changed our own experiences for the better had some of the principles of AP been used in our own generations rearing.
AP is a style of parenting that is responsive to and keenly aware of the needs of children during the first five years of life.
The research of John Bowlby showed that children who did not receive responsive, nurturing and continuous care from one or more parents suffered from vulnerability, depression, anxiety and relationship problems later in life. (For example children left to cry it out in an isolated room from their parents for an entire adult nights sleep.)
Children parented in AP style showed significantly higher quality of life scores when tested in a double blind study by Steven Bell, PhD.
Attachment parenting develops a strong sense of self confidence and independence in children later in life because their early experience of the world was attentive to their needs. The child learns in early life that a loving caring parent will always be there for them to provide for their needs and show them the way. With this knowledge the child willingly begins to expand her independence and provide for her physical, emotional and intellectual needs on her own knowing that at any time she can return to the comfort and wisdom of the parent if needed.
The Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting, are:
* Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting
* Feed with Love and Respect
* Respond with Sensitivity
* Use Nurturing Touch
* Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
* Provide Consistent and Loving Care
* Practice Positive Discipline
* Strive for Balance in Your Personal and Family Life
Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician and his wife Martha Sears, a nurse and mother of eight, have developed the-
7 B's of Attachment Parenting:
Birth and Bonding- creating a positive memorable birth experience for yourself and your baby. Making sure mom, dad and baby are able to bond for the first hour after birth uninterrupted and frequently after any necessary postpartum measures need to be taken.
- Belief in Baby's Cries / Responding to Baby's Cries- Babies cry as their only form of communication with us. They cry because they need something from us. The idea that babies are manipulative beings crying only out of selfish want is ridiculous.
- Breastfeed Your Baby- Exclusive Breastfeeding http://www.llli.org/Web/Illinois.html Breastfeeding is the most healthy way to respond to your baby's need for food, nourishment, protection and comfort. Exclusive breastfeeding means that we will feed and comfort our baby only at the breast for the first six months and beyond. Exclusive breastfeeding, avoiding the use of bottles and pacifiers, is the best way to prolong the natural infertility benefits of lactation. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that every baby should be fed breast milk exclusively within the first hour of birth and until six months and breastfeeding should continue after the introduction of solid foods to one year and beyond. The world Health Organization states that the ideal for babies is to breastfeed until age two. Human breast milk is species specific to human infants, it is the easiest for human infants to digest and assimilate its nutrients, cows milk is species specific to cows only, its nutrients are not easily utilized by the human body. Breast milk is superior to formula in the content of fats, cholesterol, protein and iron according tot he AAP. The American Academy of Family Practitioners states that breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to mom and baby and should be continued as long a mutually preferred. A mothers milk develops and changes as her baby grows and changes. Breast milk protects babies against: bacterial meningitis, diarrhea, pneumonia, botulism, middle ear infections, urinary tract infections, SIDS, allergies, insulin-dependence, Crohn's disease, lymphoma, transplant rejection and digestive diseases. Breastfed children are ill considerably less. Breastfed children score higher on IQ tests this stays true when tested in adulthood. Breast milk is non allergenic. Breast milk has a lower chance of contamination than formulas. Breastfeeding has protective qualities for the mother from ovarian and breast cancer, urinary tract infections and osteoporosis. Breastfeeding saves $900 per year in formula cost and even more in bottle and accessory costs. BPA found in formula and formula cans has been found by the EPA to be higher than BPA in baby bottles alone. Breastfeeding helps mothers loose their pregnancy weight more easily. From my education as an LLLI peer counselor it is very rare that a woman truly cannot breastfeed unless she has a congenital defect or defect caused by a surgery or serious illness and even so most of these women can bring in a partial milk supply. The biggest reason why women in our country discontinue breastfeeding is because someone has told them they don't have enough milk, the person telling them this can range from an ill educated family member to an ill educated medical professional. Formula feeding became such a norm that women have lost touch with their motherly body function of breastfeeding their children. When women have the support and education from other women in the art of breastfeeding either from friends or family or professional organizations like LLLI or certified placation consultants they succeed at exclusively breastfeeding their children. Breastfeeding is a learned art, sometimes it comes easily for mother and child and sometimes they need tools and support in working together to make breastfeeding work. Some women cease breastfeeding because they think or are told they should not breastfeed during an illness or while taking certain medications. I urge these women to contact a local LLLI leader and reference their specific case in both "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" by La Leche League and "Medications and Mothers Milk" by Thomas W. Hale, PhD. In most cases of illness and use of medication breastfeeding is still the best food for your baby. Very little of a drug passes through the breast milk and Hale has documented research on the safety of most drugs in respect to breastfeeding. Some women may unfortunately be forced to stop feeding their child breast milk if there work does not provide them with adequate means to pump thiner milk. There are many state laws protecting the rights of mothers to pump in the workplace. Please visit LLLI.org for updated information. Even more unfortunate is the fact that some women are pushed to feed their child not at the breast because they are persecuted for doing so or forced to cease breastfeeding in public places, like airplanes or restaurants. There are also many laws in states protecting a woman's right to breastfeed her child in public and there are many lawyers specializing in the legal prosecution of individuals who persecute women for feeding their child at the breast. Children and babies need food and they should be able to receive nourishment at the breast when-ever, where-ever they need it.
- Baby Wearing- Is good for babies and easier for the care giver. We have chosen to exclude strollers (till the baby gets to heavy for a sling), use of the car seat out of the car, play pens and cribs from our parenting tools. Why? Because: Carried babies cry 43% less or minutes as opposed to hours per day & develop better as a result of saving energy from not crying. This decreased crying may be due to the baby's ability to regulate his biological rhythms with those of the parent carrying him frequently. Hormones of the baby's adrenal and nervous systems are regulated allowing the baby to integrate wakefulness during the day and sleep at night just like his parents.Baby regulates his body movements to moms voice and movements balancing out the irregular, uncoordinated and purposeless movements that most babies display.Baby wearing balances the vestibular system located behind the ear. The carried baby moves in all three directions that the vestibular system balances thus strengthening its effectiveness. Babies left alone in cribs may demonstrate rocking behaviors to satisfy their need for balance. Colic, fussy crying, jerky movements, anxious thumb sucking, irregular breathing and disturbed sleep are all signs of a withdrawn & disorganized baby that needs his parents closeness and nurturing to regain organization. Self soothing behaviors are not necessarily a good things they can be a sign of a lack of attachment to a dependable care giver. In order for a baby's emotional, intellectual and physiological system to function optimally the continued presence of the mother or father is a necessary regulatory influence. Baby wearing enhances learning because it increases babies quite alert time during the day when they are best able to observe and learn from their environment. If you are weiring your baby your environment is his. Carries babies show increased visual and auditory alertness. Carried babies are more aware of the world because they are actively present in the world to the extent that the parent whose carrying them is in it and they learn things more quickly because of this, language and facial expressions for example.Baby wearing promotes cognitive development since carried babies are actively involved in their carrier's environment and daily doings these experiences stimulate nerves to breach out and connect with other nerves in baby's brain. These life experiences also help baby create a memory store of patterns of behavior that will be recalled later when similar situations occur. Carried babies tend to be more attentive and learn to listen more effectivly.Carried babies adjust to the normal sounds of the world and are less likely to be disturbed by these sounds when alone or sleeping. Baby wearing strengthens the parents intuition for what baby needs, thus strengthening the bond between parent and child.
- Bedding Close to Baby - Bed sharinghttp://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp#T071005 67% of cultures around the world sleep with their babies.Non co sleeping practices began in the 1900’s, prior to this babies almost always slept with their parents.Co sleeping allows mom & baby to establish a frequent & restful breastfeeding relationship regulating their sleep patterns and helping mom to read her baby’s unique cues.Studies have shown that the sound of parental breathing regulates infants immature consciousness of breathing, co sleeping babies align their brain-wave activity, heart rates, muscle movements and breathing with their parents. Studies show lower incidence of SIDS with safe co-sleeping practices (light blankets, no toys or stuffed animals in bed, one stiff pillow per parent, infant on back to sleep, light blankets and clothing for baby so as not to overheat).As reported in the New York Times three studies in three different countries reported no risks to babies who slept in their parents bed. In fact a fifteen year mother child co-sleeping study reported a higher intuitive knowledge between mothers and babies who co slept.Co sleeping babies cry less. Healthy bonding and closeness is established between parents and baby. Children eventually develop a sense of independence and choose on their own to leave the family bed usually after age two.Baby wearing can help prevent or overcome postpartum depression. The skin to skin and close contact of mother and baby allow and exchange of feel good hormones between mother and child, bonding hormones. This hormonal exchange is heightened when breastfeeding is also occurring. Baby wearing helps mothers learn their baby's unique cues signaling their needs and thus boosts moms confidence in her ability to nurture her child. Baby wearing allows parents to meet their child's needs while completing other tasks. Wearing baby in a sling leaves one or both hands free to do other things.
- Balance and Boundaries- Giving your baby everything he needs not everything he wants. Saying yes to your own needs. When mom and dad are happy and healthy so will baby.
- Beware of Baby Trainers- Only you as parents know what is best for your baby. If we fail to meet the needs of our babies and fail to respond to their cues they will loose trust in the value of their own feelings and communication. Baby training principles such as feeding schedules and cry it out sleeping compliance teach parents to go against their instinct to respond to their babies cues, we are given parental intuition for a reason and its not to ignore it.
Kangaroo Mother Care, Slinging, Babywearing
Kangaroo Care (best for baby especially premature babies)
Holding your baby skin to skin for the first hour after birth uninterrupted activates hormonal blue prints for both mom and baby. The sound of moms heart beat gives the baby familure signals for her integration into this new existence. The smell and feel of baby activate moms maternal instincts and she begins to communicate with her baby and learn her baby's non verbal signals.
Many professionals believe that an infants gestation is actually 18 months - 9 months to grow and integrate inside the womb and 9 months to grow and integrate outside the womb, like marsupials. Constant skin to skin contact with mother or another parent has shown to stabilize the temperature and accelerate the growth of premature infants much more effectively than using an incubator.
Newborn infants if placed on their mothers abdomen after birth will demonstrate the same primitive crawling movements to the nipple as marsupials. They will find the nipple all on their own using their legs and bobbing their head to move up to the nipple, stopping to smell the amniotic fluid on their hands that corresponds to the smell of the nipple and they will latch onto the nipple to feed for the first time. See Infant Self Attachment & http://breastcrawl.org/science.htm Baby Led Breastfeeding (let your baby show you how)
Vaccines
The Environmental Protection Agency sets the daily maximum exposure level at .1 microgram of mercury per kilogram of body weight. Thus, a 4kg (8.8 pound) baby who recieved 12.5mcg from his birth dose of hepititis B vaccine would be 31 times over the EPA limit. But a 2 kg (4.4 pound) baby would be 62.5 times over the limit. The latest CDC study found that boys exposed to the most thimerosal in vaccines by 7 months of age were 2.19 times more likely to have motor tics, and 2.44 times more likely to have phonic tics.
Resources
Having a Baby Naturally by Peggy O'Mara
Obstetric Myths vs Research Realities by Henci Goer
The Baby Book by William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N.
Attachment Parenting by William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N.
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League International
Lotus Birth by Shivam Rachana Forwarded by Michel Odent
"Medications and Mothers Milk" by Thomas W. Hale, PhD
